Wednesday, May 4, 2016

Riding on the R train, surprised by the dearth of straphangers on the morning commute. How totally nose in the air condescending does that sound. I am an unapologetic arrogant better than thou New Yorker in spirit if not reality for 11% of the year, but the first line would have even sounded better had I written: Riding on the R train, I was surprised by the shortage of commuters this morning. I was trying to think of which arcane New York commemoration was having their parade this morning. It's not Steuben Day; you know the guy who invented glass. It isn't Kosciuszko Day, the Polish guy who designed the modern day eyechart by writing his friends names on poster board. Whatever the reason, I'm grateful for the ability to ride the train unsquished.
I did hit the jackpot when I ran into Billy the hipster. This was no run of the mill hipster. He was sporting the trademark luden brothers full beard and the john belushi man-bun. But what was clearly unique was the lanyard like box stitch that the aforementioned bun was affixed to his skull with. Furthermore he was furiously crocheting something. Perhaps a niece's clutch purse, or a throw blanket. I couldn't really see the work in progress, but for this story's purpose, the end product is immaterial. What is important is that from my vantage point it appeared that the yarn was entering his body through the man-bun blowhole and appeared miraculously in his lap ripe for the crochet needle.

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